Wednesday 7 November 2018

6 NEW BANDS: THE SLUDGELORD's "666 PACK REVIEW" (October 2018)

By: Nikos Mixas


 



It’s the October edition of THE SLUDGELORD’s “666 PACK REVIEW”!  There were a lot of great albums that came out this month by such SLUDGERLORD favorites as High on Fire, Windhand and Uncle Acid and the Deadbeats.  If those bands currently have your turntable preoccupied and you need a break for some great DIY auditions for THE SLUDGELORD, you’re in the right place!  If you’re new to this, each and every month we handpick 6 review submissions and critique them by only using 6 words, then we rate them on a scale from 1 to 666!  Check out our negative Nancy rating scale below: 

1 – We include your band and in this popular monthly column and this is all you got???  Try again.
2 – This isn’t the worst thing we’ve heard this month…it’s the 2nd worse.      
3 – I like your band right now, but I’ll forget about you guys by tomorrow. 
4 – I would rate the new High on Fire a four, so the fact that you’re here isn’t too shabby.       
5 – And this would be my rating for the new Uncle Acid and Windhand albums.  Rejoice with your bandmates tonight and drink some gruel!  
666THE SLUDGELORD joins forces with The Great Pumpkin and agrees that this band deserves a 666 rating!!! 

Caveat:  Even though the “666 PACK REVIEW” is meant to offer humorous critique, there are no safe spaces here and your gripes will only make you sound like a bellyacher.  THE SLUDGELORD is a picky listener…and doesn’t care what you think of his opinions….

1). U-FOES “WHITEOUT” (Oslo, Norway)   Rating: 4

Icy and harsh, just like Norway.





2). LMDA “Darkest Days And Rituals” (Strasbourg, France)   Rating: 666!

Powerviolence, soundtrack to destroy things to.




3). MaxXout “The Big Push” (Pittsburgh, U.S.A.)   Rating: 2

If 80’s hard rock met Clutch.





4). Neon Burton “Neontology” (Cologne, Germany)   Rating: 3

See above but with Fu Manchu.





5). Electric Funeral “Death, Cult and Serpent” (Kuala Lumpur, Malayia)   Rating: 2

Mix is awful, vocalist is dying.






6). The Bateleurs “Immanent Fire” (Lisbon, Portugal)   Rating: 5

The Black Crowes with Frank Zappa???