Ah,
March....(yes we know it’s April but the editor is slow) Normally I’d be
writing something quippy regarding the onset of spring but in times of a
worldwide pandemic, I won’t pretend not to notice that things are very different
today in music or otherwise. THE SLUDGELORD
will still continue to call out lame bands, but at the same time, it’s still
entertainment in the grand scheme of things and we need all we can afford
during this epoch in time. BTW, if you’re new to this, each and every month we
handpick 6 review submissions and critique them by only using 6 words, then we
rate them on a scale from 1 to 666! Check
out our current events themed rating scale below:
1 –
So, why don’t you do us all a favor and self-quarantine your band until you’ve
practiced some more.
2 – Do your instruments a favor and don’t touch them anymore!
3 – Being average in times of hyper self-promotion will not bode well for this band.
2 – Do your instruments a favor and don’t touch them anymore!
3 – Being average in times of hyper self-promotion will not bode well for this band.
4 –
You should live stream your practices, this is good stuff.
5 – Have you thought about touring once this blows
over?
666 – THE SLUDGELORD commends your hard work, talent
and overall persistence to bring joy to our ears in times of gloom. Congrats again!
Caveat: Even though the “666 Pack Review” is meant to offer humorous critique, there are no
safe spaces here and your gripes will only make you sound like a
bellyacher. THE SLUDGELORD is a picky listener…and doesn’t care what you think
of his opinions….
1).
Sundowner
“Sundowner”
– (Adelaide, Austrailia) ating: 4
If
Sleep and Weedeater made love.
2).
Matador
“They
Were Here Before Us” – (Vancouver ,
British Columbia , Canada ) Rating: 4
Russian
Circles and Pelican lovers rejoice.
3).
Charmstone
“Charmstone”
– (Valley Stream , New York , U.S.A. )
Rating: 3
Non
sludge rock band with balls.
4).
Enshrine
“Dying
Bed w/ Fallen Prey”– (Belfast ,
Ireland ) Rating: 2
If
The Cult tried to metal.
5).
Dendrites
“Grow”
– (Volos , Greece ) Rating: 5
They
make a nice souvlaki soundscape.
6).
Vault “Dread Within” – (Fortaleza, CE,
Brazil) Rating: 2
Genre
confusion reigns supreme here.