Sunday, 4 October 2020

6 NEW BANDS: THE SLUDGELORD's "666 Pack Review" (44th Edition)

Welcome to the 44ths edition of the “666 Pack Review”.  Last time, I do not believe there was a single score of 666 and we even provided the bands with “the future is so bright!” scoring motif.  This time around, we’re going negative because that’s the only thing that seems to be consistent throughout 2020.  So, if you’re new to this, we handpick 6 review submissions and critique them by only using 6 words, then we rate them on a scale from 1 to 666!  Check out our “fuck everything” rating scale below: 


1 – You’re wasting yours AND our fucking time. 

2 – Fucking A.  At least it’s better than a 1.   

3 – Only three fucks to give?  Fuck it.

4 – This isn’t that fucking bad, at least you fucking tried.

5 – Fuck! You were sooooo close.  That’s your fucking clue that you need to try fucking harder next time. 

666 – It’s about fucking time.  THE SLUDGELORD is very fucking proud of you…now fuck off.   


Caveat:  Even though the “666 Pack Review” is meant to offer humorous critique, there are no safe spaces here and your gripes will only make you sound like a bellyacher.  THE SLUDGELORD is a picky listener…and doesn’t care what you think of his opinions….

1). Unbelievable Lake “Forgive” (Belfast, United Kingdom) Rating: 5


Because they recorded at a church.

2). Legion and the Thieves “Through Painted Skies” (Pensacola, Florida, U.S.A.)   Rating: 5


Talent is there, but lacking flux.


3). Catapult The Sun “Human Empire Fails” – Athens, Greece Rating: 5


Heavier than Ouzo.  Zeus is proud. 


4). Burial Fog “Burial Fog” (Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, U.S.A.)   Rating: 2


Please fog my ears…uninspired doom.



5). Huntress of Stars “Borrowed Eyes With Which to Sorrow” (Illinois, U.S.A.)  Rating: 3


More average doom.  Fuck my life. 


6). Chimney Creeps “Nosedive” (New York, U.S.A)   Rating: 2


Desert rock belongs in the desert.