By: Nikos
Mixas
Art: Joshua M. Wilkinson
Welcome
to THE SLUDGELORD’s February 666 Pack Review!
February is known for a couple of things, Valentines and it still being fucking
wintery. Valentines is done so gives a
fuck at this point and it’s still cold as shit…but the heaviness is just
ramping up at THE SLUDGELORD. Did you know that they have
their own record label now??? Check it
out you heathens!)!!! Each and every
month we handpick 6 review submissions and critique them by only
using 6
words, then we rate them on a scale from 1 to 666!
Check
out our awesome rating scale below:
1
– I wouldn’t even let my deaf dog listen to this.
2
– You know those heart shaped candies?
This one says, meh…
3
– The law of averages says that you’re ending up here this month. Better luck next time.
4
– It’s fucking freezing but your riffs are melting the polar ice caps.
5
– Update your bio and start submitting to this summer’s festivals!
666
- This is so good that maybe, just maybe…you could catch the eye of SLUDGELORD RECORDS one day…
Being
that it’s February, the submissions are really starting to ramp up and are
starting to flood our inbox. Even
though the 666
Pack Review is meant to offer humorous critique, there are no safe
spaces here and your gripes will be taken with a grain of salt. THE SLUDGELORD is a
picky listener…and doesn’t care what you think of his opinions….
Argonavis, “Passing the Igneous Maw” (Canada) Rating:
2
A soundtrack for the shitty weather
Shepherds Crook, “Black Lake” (Trondheim, Norway) Rating: 3
I expect more from Norwegian bands.
Cocktail of Electric Wizard and speed.
Taarna, “Sanguine
Ash” (Portland, USA) Rating: 3
For fans of 3 chord sludge.
Hal-9000 meets metal meets noise
Geomancer, “Khatt Al-Raml” United Kingdom Rating: 1
