Monday, 22 July 2019

6 NEW BANDS: THE SLUDGELORD'S "666 Pack Review" (June 2019)

By: Nikos Mixas

The year is halfway over…For some that may be a good thing and for others…say it ain’t fucking so!  As I look at my social media feed, I notice a shit ton of people are on holiday, or vacation, or whatever you want to call it.  Not this dude, I’m stuck here in hellish heat until August, so for now, I’ll just try to entertain you for a hot minute with June’s “666 Pack Review”.  THE SLUDGELORD doesn’t take summers off but for those locked in the garage, busting your chops and belting out tune after tune, we can help your band get some free promotion when you email your tunes to us for this monthly column.  So, if you’re new to this, each and every month we handpick 6 review submissions and critique them by only using 6 words, then we rate them on a scale from 1 to 666!  Check out our vacation themed rating scale below: 

1 – Your vacation needs a vacation from your band  

2 – Getting away to a music school might be the trick.  Just sayin…  

3 – This is what we call a weekender.

4 – You haven’t won an all expense paid trip to Fiji but THE SLUDGELORD acknowledges your effort.  

5 – The perfect vacation for your band would be the summer European metal fest circuit.  Excellent!

666THE SLUDGELORD can’t send you on vakay, but what’s important here is that you earned the highest score that we give out and these are a rarity.

Caveat:  Even though the “666 Pack Review” is meant to offer humorous critique, there are no safe spaces here and your gripes will only make you sound like a bellyacher.  THE SLUDGELORD is a picky listener…and doesn’t care what you think of his opinions….

1). Vovk “Lair” (Kiev, Ukraine)    Rating: 4

90’s desert rock influences run rampant.

2). Liquid Signal “Neuronicae” (Kouts, IN, U.S.A.)   Rating: 1

Somebody buy this band a tuner!

3). Et Mors “Lux in Morte” (Maryland, U.S.A)    Rating: 3

Very rough recording doesn’t do justice.  

4). El Supremo “Clarity Through Distortion” (Fargo, ND, U.S.A.)   Rating: 5

Even the album title is great!

5). Burial Fog “Last to Mourn” (Philadelphia, PA, U.S.A. )  Rating: 3

Funeral doom genre should be buried…

6). Hirveä “Tuska Ja Pakokauhu” (Finland) Rating: 1

Ok, I’m outta here…fuck this.  

Band info: Vovk || Liquid Signal || Et Mors || El Supremo || Hirveae