By: Nikos Mixas
Art: Joshua M. Wilkinson
Welcome to THE SLUDGELORD’s
March 666 Pack
Review! We don’t know if it’s
the weather or shitty timing or what, but the majority of the releases this
year have kind of been…well, for lack of a better description, meh. Thoughts on the new Judas Priest
anyone? Anyway, SLUDGELORD RECORDS
has been releasing some killer material worth youR attention so check it out! Besides the shameless plug,
each and every month we handpick 6 review submissions and critique them by only
using 6
words, then we rate them on a scale from 1 to 666!
Check out our awesome rating scale below:
1). WTF! WTH? LOL! Do I need to
spell it out?
2). The leprechaun of sludge
says “not really.”
3). You’re average, just like
corned beef and cabbage.
4). Four is just one better than
three. Don’t get too excited…
5). You have reason to be
proud…keep it up.
666). The leprechaun of sludge says “Follow
the dandelion tea toward the riff filled land!”
Some of you aren’t paying attention
to this part…take notice! Even though the
666 Pack Review
is meant to offer humorous critique, there are no safe spaces here and your
gripes will be taken with a grain of salt.
THE SLUDGELORD is a picky listener…and
doesn’t care what you think of his opinions….
1). Conteiner, “Conteiner EP” (Bilbao, Spain) "Basque cheese? No. Good Basque tunes."
Rating: 5
2). Iron Moth, “The Kill Room Journal” (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia) "This moth is not so iron…"
Rating: 2
Rating: 2
3).
Clawing, “Spectral
Estate” (Montgomery, USA) "Soundscapes to kick start your nightmares.2
Rating: 4
Rating: 4
4). L.o.W., “Bones”
(Szczecin, Poland) "Sludge forced through a rusted grinder."
Rating: 3
Rating: 3
5).
Estuary Blacks, “Estuary
Blacks” (Swansea, Wales) "Pelican meets Elder meets amber ale."
Rating: 666!
Rating: 666!
6).
Thra, “Mourn” (Phoenix,
USA) "My speakers are begging for mercy."
Rating: 4