By: Nikos
Mixas
Art by:
Joshua M. Wilkinson
It’s
the June edition of THE SLUDGELORD’s 666 Pack Review!
This month some of you might be going on
vacation or getting sloshed while watching the World Cup but the smart ones are
digging in deep at the jam pad/rehearsal studio/garage honing your chops. We can tell because THE SLUDGELORD’s
review submission inbox is constantly full and believe it or not, we really appreciate
it. If you’re new to this, each and
every month we handpick 6 review submissions and critique them by only
using 6 words, then we rate them on a scale from
1 to 666! Check out
our summer slacker themed rating scale below:
1
– You’re just like Panama in The World Cup.
You’re inexperienced and just happy to be here.
2
– Maybe the band should take a collective vacation to figure things out?
3
– You guys are average, kind of like Russia in The World Cup. You have potential to be great, but you’re
not quite there yet...
4 – I’d kick back on a beach
with an adult beverage in hand and listen to this.
5
– You’re the musical equivalent of team Brazil.
A perennial beast.
Goooooooooooooooaaaaaaallll!!!
666
– THE SLUDGELORD
awards you The World Cup Trophy for the month of June. Now go do something vile with it.
Caveat: Even though the 666 Pack Review is meant to offer
humorous critique, there are no safe spaces here and your gripes will only make
you sound like a bellyacher. THE SLUDGELORD is a picky listener…and doesn’t care what
you think of his opinions….
1).
Empty Friend, “Saltwater”
(London, United Kingdom) Rating: 2
Did 90’s alternative rock return? Wow…
2). Modok, “Evil/Sea Beast” (Joensuu, Finland) Rating: 4
Modok eats, breaths and shits doom.
3). Fatima, “Moaner” (Paris, France) Rating: 5
4).
Magik Black, “Magik
Black” (Nizhny Novgorod, Russia)
Rating: 666!
Dumb name but shaddup and listen!
5). Flood Peak, “Plagued by Sufferers” (Portland, U.S.A.) Rating: 5
Reminds me a bit of Celeste.
Oui!
6). Ingrina, “Etter Lys” (France) Rating: 666!
Vive la Ingrina! Vive la France!
Band
info: Empty Friend || Modok
|| Fatima || Magik Black
|| Flood Peak || Ingrina
