By: Nikos
Mixas
It’s
the November installment of THE SLUDGELORD’s “666 PACK REVIEW”! Can you believe that we’re almost finished
with this fucking year already??? There
are been some winners (but unequivocally more losers…)
that have scored a 666 rating just about every month during 2018. November bands, don’t fail us now! If you’re new to this, each and every month we
handpick 6 review submissions and critique them by only using 6 words, then we
rate them on a scale from 1 to 666! Check
out our cold and dreary rating scale below:
1
– With the lack of daylight hours and listening to your submission, we’re
totally feeling this rating of miserable.
2
– We liken your band to when you wake up to shit ton of snow outside. It blows.
3
– Some holiday music can elicit feelings of meh, just like listening to this.
4
– We’re likening this submission to hope.
For example, spring is only 5 months away kind of hopeful.
5
– This is real good. And we mean real
good like going on a vacation to some warm weather island for the holidays kind
of good.
666!
– THE SLUDGELORD’s highest rating is bestowed up you along
with an imaginary bottle of whiskey and cauldron full of whatever makes you
happy!
The
666 PACK REVIEW
is meant to offer humorous criticism and is not meant to hurt feelings,
however, there are no safe spaces here. THE SLUDGELORD is a picky listener…and doesn’t care what
you think of his opinions….
1).
Red Usurper, “The Sphere of Time” (Saint John, Canada) Rating: 3
Digging
the tunes, vocals need work.
2). Leroy, “Leroy” (Dublin, Ireland) Rating: 1
First
prize for WORST VOCALS EVER.
3).
Gaping Maw, “The Big Fuck-Over” (Cincinnati, USA) Rating: 5
Noisy,
angry and cool bass lines.
4). CTRL+All+Delete, “CTRL+All+Delete” (Sacramento, USA) Rating: 5
Do
NOT CTRL+Alt+Delete this fine sludge!
5). Raskolnik, “Dissenter” (Norrköping, Sweden) Rating: 2
Guitars
lessons AND vocal lessons needed.
6).
Vandampire, “You will be the bones” (London,
United Kingdom) Rating: 666!
This
is THE SLUDGELORD, you lost?
Band
info: Red Usurper || Gaping Maw || Ctrl+All+Delete
|| Raskolnik || Vandampire
