Well,
it’s been two months since THE SLUDGELORD has been in quarantine and it
fucking sucks as bad as Ozzy’s latest attempt to make music…The good news is
that the music you guys send in is still better than that atrocity. But in all seriousness, no live shows,
festivals, zip, nada, diddly squat for the unforeseeable future is the worst
part about all of this and we know that we’re preaching to the choir here. However, the “666 Pack Review” is here for the bored masses. BTW, if you’re new to this, each and every
month we handpick 6 review submissions and critique them by only using 6 words,
then we rate them on a scale from 1 to 666! Check
out our all shades of Ozzy rating scale below:
1) This is the
score we would give any of Ozzy’s most recent decade’s worth of albums without
even listening to them. Whatever we just
heard just now is worse than all of them combined.
2) Remember
Ozzy’s hair and clown garb during “The Ultimate Sin” era? This is the score we gave that shit. Your band is just as ridiculous.
3) When Ozzy
recruited Zakk Wylde and he made pinch harmonics a thing, well…it was kind of
cool and kind of not. Yup, same thing
for this band.
4) A long time
ago in a galaxy far, far, away, Ozzy relieved himself on The Alamo and bit the
heads off of live animals. That’s
legit. So is this band.
5) “Diary
of a Madman” and “Blizzard of Ozz” kind of glory
starting to happen right here.
666) Let’s get
fucking crazy!!! We love you all!!!
Caveat: Even though the “666 Pack Review” is meant to offer humorous critique, there are no
safe spaces here and your gripes will only make you sound like a bellyacher. THE SLUDGELORD is a picky listener…and doesn’t
care what you think of his opinions….
1). Starspawn of
Cthulhu “Yog-Sothothery” (Vicenza ,
Italy
If
Candlemass went full death metal.
2).
Gavran
“Still
Unavailing” (Rotterdam ,
Netherlands
Shoegazey
and progressive, yet not pretentious.
3).
Phe
“Glooming
Dawn” (Helmond , Netherlands
Oh
my! Another stoner rock band!!!
4).
Vulture Neck
“Mountain
Giant” (Stockholm , Sweden
St.
Vitus riffage with constipated vocals.
5).
Hypnochron
“Hypnochron”
(Chicago , Illinois ,
U.S.A.
Groovy.
Fuzzy. Heavy. Composed. Instrumental. Interesting.
6).
Maussade
“INSIIPIIIDE”
(France) Rating: 666!!!
Band info: Phe || Vulture Neck || Hypnochron || Maussade
