6 NEW BANDS: THE SLUDGELORD'S "666 Pack Review" (April 2020)

By: Nikos Mixas

Well, it’s been two months since THE SLUDGELORD has been in quarantine and it fucking sucks as bad as Ozzy’s latest attempt to make music…The good news is that the music you guys send in is still better than that atrocity.  But in all seriousness, no live shows, festivals, zip, nada, diddly squat for the unforeseeable future is the worst part about all of this and we know that we’re preaching to the choir here.  However, the “666 Pack Review” is here for the bored masses.  BTW, if you’re new to this, each and every month we handpick 6 review submissions and critique them by only using 6 words, then we rate them on a scale from 1 to 666!  Check out our all shades of Ozzy rating scale below: 

1) This is the score we would give any of Ozzy’s most recent decade’s worth of albums without even listening to them.  Whatever we just heard just now is worse than all of them combined.

2) Remember Ozzy’s hair and clown garb during “The Ultimate Sin” era?  This is the score we gave that shit.  Your band is just as ridiculous. 

3) When Ozzy recruited Zakk Wylde and he made pinch harmonics a thing, well…it was kind of cool and kind of not.  Yup, same thing for this band.

4) A long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away, Ozzy relieved himself on The Alamo and bit the heads off of live animals.  That’s legit.  So is this band.     

5) “Diary of a Madman” and “Blizzard of Ozz” kind of glory starting to happen right here. 

666) Let’s get fucking crazy!!!  We love you all!!! 

Caveat:  Even though the “666 Pack Review” is meant to offer humorous critique, there are no safe spaces here and your gripes will only make you sound like a bellyacher.  THE SLUDGELORD is a picky listener…and doesn’t care what you think of his opinions….

1). Starspawn of Cthulhu “Yog-Sothothery” (Vicenza, Italy)    Rating: 3

If Candlemass went full death metal.

2). Gavran “Still Unavailing” (Rotterdam, Netherlands)   Rating: 5

Shoegazey and progressive, yet not pretentious.

3). Phe “Glooming Dawn” (Helmond, Netherlands) Rating: 3

Oh my!  Another stoner rock band!!! 

4). Vulture Neck “Mountain Giant” (Stockholm, Sweden)   Rating: 2

St. Vitus riffage with constipated vocals. 

5). Hypnochron “Hypnochron” (Chicago, Illinois, U.S.A.)   Rating: 5

Groovy. Fuzzy. Heavy. Composed. Instrumental. Interesting.

6). Maussade “INSIIPIIIDE” (France) Rating: 666!!!

Sharon!!! What the bloody hell!! - Ozzy

Band info: Phe || Vulture Neck || Hypnochron || Maussade

Hypnochron - Herbs For The Alter (Album Review)

Album Type: Album

Date Released: 24^th October 2014

Label: Self Released

Herbs For The Alter – Track Listing

1.Tree 04:07

2.Submit 02:38

3.Nebula 04:17

4.Subversion 03:37

5.Empowerment 03:09

6.Come Fourth 02:43

7.Lurid Spirals 05:31

8.Snort 02:19

9.Pigs on the Hunt 05:39

1.Burning Winds 03:24

11.Rise from Below 09:29

12.Fall of the Sun 05:01

Band Members

Troy- Guitar/Samples

Chris-Bass

Kenny-Drums

Review:

Hypnochron's debut album cover may have been created by Stoners messing about on Photoshop and they probably thought it was cool to use a naked chick for their first release. But god-damn their debut album – Herbs For The Alter – is pure fucking genius at times. If you're into Instrumental Doom/Stoner Metal that's firmly rooted in the 1970's with awesome humour to match.

Hypnochron sound like a steady mix of Sleep, Weedeater, Bongzilla, Kyuss, Sabbath and Church Of Misery. It's a bleak and funny as hell trippy violent sonic odyssey with the band using every trick in the DIY Musical Handbook in providing you with great music to trip out to. Opening track – Tree – sets up the scene with epic riffs dripping with FUZZ and demonic attitude to match. The instrumental work is loud from the start with the emphasis on the drums and bass guitar. The production is a little sloppy but it adds to Hypnocron's sound. Stick with this as this album starts become even more weirder and insane with each passing second.

2^nd track – Submit – Is a song about The Devil possessing a poor woman's pussy. Yeah. I know. I did tell you it's an insane and funny as hell album. Though it's the awesome Doom/Stoner riffs that is the main draw here. Just enjoy the ride as you don't know where this album will take you next.

3^rd track – Nebula – is a more straight-forward affair with elements of Church Of Misery starting to appear especially with the sinister soundclips. Hypnocron then blast their way through a whole ton of psychedelic riffs for you to survive from.

The albums first 3 tracks show you what to expect from the rest of the album. There are a few hidden surprises along the way that I won't spoil for you. Other great track to check out are – Empowerment, Pigs On The Hunt and Rise From Below. Hypnochron have released a stunning debut album if you're into sinister and creepy Instrumental Doom/Stoner Metal. These guys could have a big future if they release great albums such as this. Though I hope the guys spend more time on the production on their future releases. Check it out for yourselves on BandCamp as it's available on Buy Now Download and CD.

Excellent and Highly Recommended.

Words by Steve Howe

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