Tuesday 14 July 2020

6 NEW BANDS: THE SLUDGELORD's "666 Pack Review" (May 2020)

By: Nikos Mixas

This year is turning out to be an interesting one indeed.  A plague has crippled the world, protests and riots have been commonplace lately and there’s a meteor on a collision course for earth….err…I made that last one up.  But hey!  All of this sounds like fodder for lyrical material for eons to come.  THE SLUDGELORD expects to see a lot of doom and gloom when you email your tunes to us for this monthly column.  So, if you’re new to this, each and every month we handpick 6 review submissions and critique them by only using 6 words, then we rate them on a scale from 1 to 666!  Check out our “the end of the world” rating scale below: 

1 – The end is now.  At least for you.   
2 – Go find and climb into a bomb shelter soon.  Not to save yourself, but to practice a whole bunch more.
3 – The law of averages says that you’ll be the same after all this shakes out… 
4 – You can take off that mask and put down that sign.  Things are looking up for this band.       
5 – Even rubber bullets and a high fever can’t stop you.  Get out there and play…. when venues open up that is. 
666THE SLUDGELORD does not fret when the world is coming to an end.  THE SLUDGELORD only listens when the score is 666!

Caveat:  Even though the “666 Pack Review” is meant to offer humorous critique, there are no safe spaces here and your gripes will only make you sound like a bellyacher.  The Sludgelord is a picky listener…and doesn’t care what you think of his opinions….

1). Lammping “Forest For The Trees” (Toronto, Ontario, Canada) Rating:  3

Flower power, or maybe…flour powder? 

2). TRWLR “ATOLLA” (Copenhagen, Denmark) Rating: 4

Soundtrack for rioting and for migraines.

3). Squelch ChamberDown So Low” (Pennsylvania, U.S.A) Rating: 4

Napalm Death and Assuck love child. 

4). Vitskar Suden “Vitskar Suden” (Los Angeles, California, U.S.A.) Rating: 4

Maybe if I was a stoner???

5). Rickshaw Billie’s Burger Patrol “Burger Babes…From Outer Space!” (Austin, Texas, U.S.A.) Rating: 666!

 Fucking needed this injection of boogie!

6). Mazzeri “Mazzeri” (Corsica, France)   Rating: 2

The flavors haven’t settled just yet.