By: Nikos Mixas
It’s
the February 2020 version of THE
SLUDGELORD’s “666
Pack Review” and we’re hoping for some better representation this month
because last month pretty much SUCKED!
Maybe 2019 was such a good year for new tunes that our expectations are
really high right now. Get it together
2020 bands! If you’re new to this, each
and every month we handpick 6 review submissions and critique them by only
using 6 words, then we rate them on a scale from 1 to 666! Check out our motivational rating scale
below:
1 – The only inspirational thing we can
say is that you’re only 3 spots away from relevance.
2 – What can I say about two? At least you didn’t get a rating of 1!
2 – What can I say about two? At least you didn’t get a rating of 1!
3 –
Most bands are average that we listen to, but you only have to try a little bit
harder to be above average.
4 – Music fans like bands that are
better than average, and that’s what you are…just slightly…
5 –
You’re almost there! Next time you’ll
nail that 666!
666 –
THE SLUDGELORD commends you for all your
hard work and effort put into your submission.
Brag to all that care to listen about your 666!
Caveat: Even though the 666 Pack Review is meant to
offer humorous critique, there are no safe spaces here and your gripes will
only make you sound like a bellyacher. THE SLUDGELORD is a picky listener…and
doesn’t care what you think of his opinions….
1).
Moratorium, “Night Mothers”
(Ottawa, Canada) Rating: 666!
Night
Mothering February the fuck up!
2).
Deer Lord, “Deer Lord”
(Santa Rosa, CA, U.S.A.) Rating: 4
Boogie
down safe stoner slut sounds.
3).
Settlement, “What Once Was”
(Buffalo, NY, U.S.A.) Rating: 5
Settlement
not settling on being average…
4).
Harvest of Ash, “Deadlights [EP]”
(Salt Lake City, UT U.S.A.) Rating: 4
Wonkily
produced, but nice riffage wins.
5).
Ultracombo, “Season 1” (Vicenza,
Italy) Rating: 666!
Desert
grooves making headway in Italy!
6).
Alconaut, “Sand Turns to Tide”
(Bastia, France) Rating: 3
Riffs
straight out of the 80’s.
