Tuesday 29 July 2014

Heavy Metal Movies by Mike "McBeardo" McPadden (Book Review)


Format: Book
Date Released: Now
Publisher: Bazillion Points Publishing

Book Information

HEAVY METAL MOVIES, by Mike McBeardo" McPadden. It's an in-depth investigation of the unholy marriage between metal and films. A compelling alternate history of heavy metal, told through the sights and scenes that shaped its visions, an exhaustive and hilarious look for origins behind the silver screen instead of the buzzing amplifier.

Author Bio

McBeardo is the defining moniker of the Brooklyn-born miscreant occasionally still known as Mike McPadden and Selwyn Harris. Mr. McBeardo’s ongoing rampage through the most gloriously ignoble gutter-rungs of show business began with his early-’90s sleaze-zine HAPPYLAND, followed by a stint as Entertainment Editor at Hustler, and gigs at numerous subsequent slap-mags, mo(i)st notably, Celebrity Skin.

As a screenwriter, McBeardo gave us the softcore epic Animal Instincts 3: The Seductress (1995), as well as the XXX-rated milestones Devil in Miss Jones 5: The Inferno (1994), Sex Freaks (1995), Gregory Dark’s Flesh (1996), and at least one more he can’t remember.

For two weeks in the late ’90s, McBeardo labored for Troma Films. Unpaid. Plus Mike is the head writer for celeb nude site – Mr Skin.

Review: Heavy Metal Movies: Guitar Barbarians, Mutant Bimbos & Cult Zombies Amok in the 666 Most Ear- and Eye-Ripping Big-Scream Films Ever!

How close have Films and Heavy Metal music been linked over the past 50 years or so? It was never really a question I thought about until now. It seems that both of these mediums have influenced each other in a big way.

Remember those big encyclopaedia books of film reviews from the 70s/80s that offered a personal review of 1000’s different films. They were used religiously by film fanatics to compare different films against. The books themselves held mini reviews, which offered a brief synopsis of the plot, and the reviewers own personal thoughts of the film. Some of the reviews usually pointed out some fun film facts.

Now we have things like IMDB and Rotten Tomatoes to fill that role where everyone can be a critic and explain why this film is so lauded or hated in equal measure. In addition, that brings me onto my book review of – Heavy Metal Movies. A forthright and downright hilarious disturbing book outlining 666 reviews of the most insane Heavy Metal movies around. Now these reviews are not all about proper Heavy Metal Movies. Mike offers his critical eye over films such as Star Wars & Twilight. You should read why he feels these movies should be classed as Heavy Metal movies. The Star Wars review had me laughing out loud for hours. Have a read yourself.

Since the release of Star Wars on May 25 1977, no aspect of human existence has gone untouched by the movie, especially not heavy metal. But which came first, the effect of Star Wars on heavy metal or heavy metal's effect on Star Wars? Consider, below, how each can be seen as interlocked with one another.

The opening crawl is symphonic metal. The Death Star is drone metal, The Jawas are doom metal. The Tusken Raiders are crust punk. The land speeder is 70s van rock. The Max Rebo band is groove metal. Han Solo is thrash. Han Solo shooting Greedo first is death metal.

Chewbacca is stoner rock. Obi-Wan Kenobi is prog metal. The Force is pagan metal. C-3PO is mathcore. R2-D2 is Nintendo-core. The Empire is black metal ,with more than a few particular nods to NSBM. Grand Moff Tarkin is New Wave of British Heavy Metal. The giant eel in the garbage compactor is sludge metal. Luke and Leia's incestuous kiss is that weird corner of metal occupied by Anal Cunt, the Melvins, the Mentors and the Butthole Surfers. The aerial dog-fight between the X-wings and the TIE fighters is power metal. The big ceremony at the end where everybody gets a medal is Viking Metal.

And Darth Vader, of course, is all aspects of all forms of heavy metal in every possible permutation. Only perpetually heavier. And perpetually more metal, as proven by the awesome Polish Death Metal band Vader.

Star Wars. That's all. It's Star Wars.”

Mike has had a passion for movies and Heavy Metal music for the best part of 35 years or so. He has seen, breathed and lived through almost every terrible film imaginable. He offers a deep hysterical insight on his youth and how he became a fan of certain genres and music. Mike has even included a section by Alice Cooper describing his very own Heavy Metal Movies. How cool is that. Alice Cooper discussing his own work. You don't see that on IMDB or Rotten Tomatoes.

The book goes through an A to Z format of reviews featuring different genres of films you know and love. Mike even includes movies you may hate with a passion or never even heard of. It is to Mike’s credit that he offers a thrilling historical insight into some of the movies featured. I discovered a ton of great facts from reading this book as Mike has definitely done his homework here.

The book can be quite disturbing at times as Mike points some of the most horrific and disturbing scenes from classic horror and science fiction movies. Though Mike does feature proper heavy metal movies from such well-known artists as: Kiss, Lamb of God, Alice Cooper, Black Sabbath and Blue Oyster Cult. Nearly all widely praised and derided if Mike feels the mood calls for it.

Heavy Metal Movies truly comes alive when Mike lets rip on a “so bad it’s good” classic movie as he gives the movie both barrels with a string of insults. That happens quite a lot as Mike has picked a few B and Z listed movies to check out. Mike even criticizes his own invaluable contributions to movies. Wonder if he will allow me to say which movies he has been involved in. I will state one. Animal Instincts 3. Another one the book's stand-out reviews. 

The best part of each review is why Mike thinks this movie should be classed as Heavy Metal and the reasons for. He name checks all of your favourite metal/hard rock bands from a whole range of different genres. Thrash, Noise, Stoner, Sludge, Doom, You get the point. I may disagree with a few of the film choices he has included here. Twilight. Mike – that film series will never be Heavy Metal, no matter how funny and fantastic your mini review is.

Heavy Metal Movies has a lot of pages devoted to the fantastic posters from the films featured in the book. Some are very disturbing indeed. Some you may recognise and some you will not. Heavy Metal Movies is a brilliant read from start to finish. Mike has written a hilarious, heartfelt, disturbing and in-depth book that is a must have book even if you are a Heavy Metal Movie fan or not.

I hope Mike writes another instalment of Heavy Metal Movies as I think he is onto a winner here.

Thanks to Magnus at Bazillion Points Publishing for sending me a copy to review. Heavy Metal Movies is available to buy now.

Written by Steve Howe